Why Steve hates villagers!
by EpicBudderSword178
Summary: Villagers are really annoying as we all know so im just gonna write an ongoing ragefic about them. This how I imagine them in real life with Steve. This is going to get really funny so hold onto your butts.
1. The Library

**Why Steve hates villagers!**

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**Chapter 1- The Library**

"Yeah! I spawned in a village! I wonder how many villagers there are…" Steve wondered.

Little did Steve know that those villagers would cause him so much trouble.

1 year later…

"Uhhg, I cant find the book I need!" Steve groaned.

"Hello stranger." a villager that popped out of nowhere said.

"AHHHHHHH! WHAT TH…" Steve screamed.

"SHHHHHHH! THIS IS A LIBRARY! YOU MUST BE QUIET! NOW HOW MAY I HELP YOU!?" the villager.

"Uhhhh… Right… I need a book about the wither." Steve requested.

"Why is that, stranger?" the villager asks.

"Because I want to know about its weaknesses so I can defeat it." Steve answers.

"Why is that, stanger?" the villager asks again.

"Um, so I can save your village." Steve answers, again.

"Why is that, stranger?" the villager once again, asks.

"Because… Do you want to die?!" Steve demands, now annoyed.

"Why is that, stranger?" the villager asks AGAIN!

"Oh my Notch…you guys are impossible. Look can I just get the book?" Steve sighs

"Ok." the villager agrees.

The villager runs to the only bookshelf that couldn't possibly contain the book and pulls it right out, then handed it to Steve.

"How..did..you…Oh nevermind." Steve sighs, rubbing his temples.

"That book is written by my favorite author." the villager says, looking at the book cover..

"Oh really?" responds Steve looking at the bottom of the cover, "Umm. But it says by Villager…"

"Yes he is only one of my favorite authors. The others are named Villager, Villager, Villager, Villager, Villager, and Villager." the villager responds approvingly.

"But those are all the same names." says Steve, raising an eyebrow.

"No they aren't." the villager responds.

"Yes they are you just said Villager like" Steve stops as he count how many times the villager said Villager, "six times."

"Oh yeah, I forgot my absolute FAVORITE author. Villager Vil-ager Villag-er von le Villager the third. He's German." the villager concludes.

"What have I gotten myself into. I'm leaving and taking I'm this book with me. Thank you, Merry Christmas, Halleluha!" Steve declares.

"Good-bye stanger. Don't forget to check out my other favorite authors." the villager calls as Steve walks out the door.

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**Hey peeps! I used to really like villagers but now not so much so here is what I think villagers do to poor Steve. Pleas review and bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this then bless you.**


	2. The clothing store

**Why Steve hates villagers**

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**Chapter 2 Clothing store**

One day in a village Steve is found in drenching wet clothes running to the nearest clothes store.

"I can't believe EpicBudderSword actually pushed me into the water! I have no other clothes so I'll have to get some new ones." Steve mumbles walking in a villager clothing store.

"Hello stranger." the villager greets.

"You guys do know I have a name right?" Steve asks.

"Yes. Your name is stranger." the villager answers.

"Oh Notch. NO! My name is Steve." Steve yells.

"Well hello Stanger Steve." the villager greets again, using the new name.

"No its… nevermind. I need some new clothes." Steve says.

"Well we have brown, pink, green, and white robes. Oh, and some aprons." the villager answers.

"Aren't those heavy?" Steve asks.

"Do not mock our religion, Stanger Steve." the villager scowls.

"Which is…" Steve questions.

"We base our clothing off the clothing our first king, Villager." the villager states.

"Oooooook. That's still the same name. Look, all I want is a t-shirt and pants." Steve tiredly says.

"We only have one pair of pants." the villager tells Steve.

"I'll take that. Aaaand… I'm leaving now. I need an asprin." Steve groans.

"Thank you and come again!" the villager calls.

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**Heya peeps! It's me with another chappie. I want to thank Prncsssarahj for reviewing! (You were my only review though) *hands out imaginary cupcake* If you do read this then please review and I'll be very happy! Tell your friends! Also, bless your face. And if you sneezed while reading this then bless you! **


	3. Trading

**Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update but I've been busy writing Ender Princess. If you haven't read that yet then go read it after you read this. Today I'm focusing about the main pet peeve that everyone has with villagers. Trading.**

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"I need some more stuff. I should probably trade with the villagers…" Steve sighs, "This won't end well."

Steve walks the all the way to the village which is about 800 blocks away, all the while contemplating whether he should really trade with the villagers.

By the time he gets to the center of the village he decides he should turn back before it's too late. But it already is because a villager is already calling him.

"Hello Stranger Steve!" the villager calls a greeting.

"Crap, hello…" Steve regretfully responds.

"Would you like to trade with me Stranger Steve?" the villager asks.

"Fine…" Steve mumbles.

"I will trade you a wooden shovel if you give me three emeralds." The villager says.

"WHAT! That is a huge rip off!" Steve says.

"No it's not Stranger Steve." The villager calmly says.

"Yeah it is! I can make a wooden shovel in 1 minute!" Steve says running off.

Steve then proceeds to punch a tree, gather the wood, and turn them into wooden planks. He builds a crafting table out of some of the planks. Steve then uses the rest of the wood to build a shovel.

"See. I t takes me one minute to build a shovel but it takes me HOURS just to find one emerald! If I'm lucky." Steve explains, panting.

"Ok, I'll trade you that shovel for 20 pieces of wool." The villager replies.

"Ok, I'll do that." Steve agrees.

They trade but the villager has something else to trade.

"Now would you like to trade three of your emeralds for my wooden shovel?" the villager inquires.

"OH MY NOTCH! LOOK SOMEONE IS LITTERING!" Steve screams.

"What! It's against the law to litter! CALL THE POLICE!" the villager yells, running in a random direction.

"Well that got rid of him. Now to raid the village chests." Steve says, sneaking off.

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**Well, I'm not sure what else I should have the villagers do to poor Steve. If you have some suggestions please post them in the reviews! I also want to tell you guys that I'll be updating this story every Saturday. Go check out The Ender Princess and review! Also, go read, follow, and favorite kittyjen781's Sky Shorts Season 5 and pinkittwice's I'm Related To A Youtuber. Bless your face but if you sneezed while reading this the bless you! Epic out!**


	4. Random Creepypasta Peeps

**Hey guys! I hope everyone had a nice thanksgiving and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update! I'm so glad that everyone likes Why Steve Hates Villagers I've decided to write my comments on the reviews that everyone posted! Here goes!**

**funkypen1: I'm glad you love the story and I actually did take some inspiration from Element Animation. *hands a cupcake***

**FeatherleapMC: That would be a good idea but maybe for the ending chapter. And no, no one will die in that chapter. *hands a cupcake***

**Dawnclaw: I believe you meant stories, not books. *hands a cupcake***

**Ponythekidrs: They ****are**** annoying! I forget if they were in the update before 1.6 or 1.7. *hands a cupcake and headphones to mute out the villagers***

**dragonflyz: That-that is a very good idea actually. I'll do that in the next chapter. *hands a cupcake***

**Randomosity: If the story was by NotPaul then I did base the first two chapters off of Steve's experience with the villagers. On that note, go check out NotPaul's story, Herobrine, and tell him I sent you. *hands a cupcake***

**Derp: I think Villagers are two stupid to try to trick Steve and the results would most likely result in spilt blood. *hands a cupcake***

**Derp: I'm not sure how funny that would result in so… *hands a cupca- wait… YOU ALREADY HAVE A CUPCAKE! NO MORE FOR TODAY!***

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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We see Steve hidden in the bushes with a bow and arrow, aiming at a flock of chickens.

"Aim small, miss small…" Steve mutters. "Wait, is that…"

"Hello Steve…" a villager hanging from a tree whispers in Steve's ear which causes him to scream, causing the chickens to scatter.

"WHAT THE NETHER!" Steve screams at the villager that has just appeared beside him.

"How have you been doing, Steve..." The villager responds.

"Where did you… nevermind. What in the name of Notch are you doing out here?!" Steve asks.

"I followed you. And I may or may not have been watching you sleep for the past 3 months." The villager answers as he smiles almost evilly.

Steve raises an eyebrow, "You are very creepy and I am leaving."

"I came to help you murder innocent animals." the villager says smiling.

"You are a lot different than normal villagers. Who are you?" Steve asks once more.

"Hehe," the villager evilly laughs with an equally evil smile, "So you want to know who I am?"

The "villager" tears off his cloths and mask to reveal black and white, blood splattered clothes, messy black hair, and sharp, blood stained teeth. The fake villager then pulls out a knife that is also blood stained.

"Ooooh, you're Jeff the Killer. That explains the 'I've been watching you for the past 3 months' thing." Steve realizes. Then he just stands there.

"Nothing…No screaming or running?" Jeff asks. Normally people would be screaming bloody murder by this time.

"Nope. I lived in Slendy's house for about a week and he got bored with me and let me leave when I threatened to spawn a villager in his house." Steve answers.

"Oh… Well… I can gather food while you hunt if you want." Jeff suggests.

"Ok." Steve answers.

"On second thought, that would be very boring and it would ruin my career as a creepypasta. I'll just kill you." Jeff says as he pulls out his knife.

"And, I'll just start running now." Steve says as he takes off.

Steve runs while Jeff chases him until Jeff is finally able to corner Steve.

"I got you now!" Jeff says evilly.

"Wait, we can talk about this! I can hook you up with Jane!" Steve desperately suggests.

"I killed her a year ago." Jeff answers.

"I had dinner with her last week." Steve counters.

"WHAT! How did yo-" Jeff questions until he collapses on the ground with an arrow in his back.

"Finally killed that son of a nutcracker." Jane growls from behind Steve.

"Oh hey babe!" Steve greets, "Want to go out for dinner again tonight?"

"Sure Stevie." Jane answers.

The two hold hands and walk into the sunset.

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**Steve has some disturbing secrets. Sorry if it seems a little off from my normal chapters but I was thinking about what to write and I was like 'Meh, I'll just put in some creepypasta characters'. Hope you liked it! Tell me if you like the new chapter and send in some ideas for later chapters! Bless your face but if you sneezed while reading this then bless you! EPIC OUT!**


	5. DECORATING WITH EPIC

**Hey nuggets! We have a crazy freak storm (or as my dad calls it, the death storm) coming to where I live so I can't do the Omegle chat. Sorry guys. Here are my answers to your reviews!**

**ICT GIRL1234: I'm glad you thought it was funny! Thanks for the enchanted cookie! I'll use it to kill villagers later! *hands a butter nugget***

**pnut9282: It's ok. I have other ideas! *hands a butter nugget***

**Mr mooose: I'm really not sure how a villager just bumping into Steve will cause some iron golems to chase him. *hands a butter nugget***

**xXBlizzardNinjaXx: Jane and Jeff have been battling for years and they just keep respawning. Jane said 'I finally killed that son of a nutcracker' because she has been searching for Jeff for a year and Jeff was surprised that Jane had dinner with Steve because he didn't think that she would be so near him so soon. *hands a butter nugget***

**Kitcat from the sky: You should probably keep that kit away from your computer if you don't have any tissues nearby. Also, Hollymist is a name for a Warrior. If Hollymist was a kit then her/his name would be Hollykit. *hands a butter nugget***

**FeatherleapMC: WOOOO! RANDOM DEAD GIRLS EVEN THOUGH JANE ISN'T EXACTLY DEAD! *hands a butter nugget***

**Derp: there were two reviews with the name Derp. I already gave the first one a cupcake so I guessed the other one was you! *hands two cupcakes and a butter nugget***

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"Ok, maybe the lights should go there…" Steve says to himself as he looks at a village house from all angles. Steve decided to decorate the village for Christmas because no one did last year or any of the years before that.

"Hello Stanger Steve!" a female voice mockingly calls from behind him. Steve turns around, expecting a villager, but is greeted by EpicBudderSword wearing a Santa hat.

"Oh hey Epic! I didn't know you were stopping by the village today." Steve greets as he side-hugs her out of friendship.

"I remembered how dreary it looked last year with no lights so I expected you would be decorating and would need help." Epic answers.

Steve nods and hands Epic a box of lights and decorations. "Knock yourself out." He says as he points to a house across the street. Epic nods and runs over to the house.

Steve begins to line the roof with lights. As he does this, he begins to make plans about a big Christmas party in his mind. Around thirty minutes later, Steve finishes stapling the last string of lights when he almost falls of the ladder thanks to Epic.

"HEY STEVE! I FINISHED! WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT!" Epic calls from the bottom of the ladder.

"AHHHH! YOU ALMOST MADE ME FALL!" Steve calls back. Epic laughs for a few seconds as if she did that on purpose. Then she stops and makes the weird face that she always makes whenever she has an idea.

"Uh oh. This isn't good." Steve mutters. Epic's ideas usually either don't end well or she never follows through with them.

"I'll be right back!" Epic yells up to Steve as she runs in the direction of her house. Steve shakes his head and climbs down the ladder to continue with the decorating that Epic just left for him to do.

2 hours later

Steve looks proudly at the completely decorated and lite up village. Then he realizes that he hasn't seen Epic ever since she ran off earlier. All of a sudden, Christmas music begins to play from speakers that replace the black wool of the light poles. Steve rolls his eyes. This was Epic's great idea. She is practically addicted to music so it's no wonder.

"What do you think?" Epic asks from behind Steve.

Steve laughs, "This is epic!"

"That is my name." Epic answers. "Now what?"

"I need your help to build a place to have the best Christmas party ever!" Steve responds, "And there will be special guests. I won't say any name but their initials are Sky, Deadlox, Bajan, Jerome, and several others."

"BAJAN! I mean… when do we start?" Epic says as she laughs nervously. Steve already knows she has a massive crush on BajanCanadian.

"Right now!" Steve answers as he throws a stack of cobblestone to Epic. The two run off to build the best party house ever before the Christmas party.

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**I hope you like it guys! Wish me luck because I have to play ukulele in front of an audience tomorrow! I'll see you budder nuggets later! EPIC OUT!**


	6. Christmas Party part 1

**Hey nuggets! Here is the Christmas Party chapter! WOOOOO! Sorry for not updating until now but all I could think about was this specific chapter. Also, I DIDN'T GET ALL OF THE PRESENTS I'M GIVING TO FAMILY MEMBERS UNTIL LAST NIGHT! Here are the responses to your reviews!**

**Derp: I might do that in the New Years chapter. *hands plate***

**Derp: I can understand why you do that. *hands fork***

**Derp: That would be more of a Halloween chapter. *hands Christmas cake***

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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"Hey Epic! Are the lights up yet?" Steve calls to the headphone-clad girl across the room.

"As I kissed you in," Epic sings.

"What?!" Steve exclaims.

"The very corner of the room."

Steve sighs, "Not again."

"I know how it feels,"

"Epic…"

"To experience true pain."

"Epic."

"The piano sounds rebound,"

"Epic!"

"IN MY HEAD THEY SPIN ROUND!"

"EPIC!"

"What! You don't need to scream." Epic responds, removing her headphones.

"Well you…never mind. Are the lights done?" Steve sighs.

"Yup! Everything is done!" Epic says cheerily as she holds out a Santa suit, "Now go put this suit on!"

"WHAT!" Steve shouts. Epic shoves the costume into his hands and pushes him into the nearest bathroom and locks the door.

"You aren't coming out until that suit is on!" The teenager shouts through the door.

"Did I just get bossed around by a 15 year old girl?!" Steve shouts through the door. Epic giggles and runs off to put on her own costume.

10 minutes later

Steve walks out the door of the bathroom that Epic FINALLY unlocked to see Epic posing in her costume. Her costume consists of a long-sleeved, short skirted, red Santa dress that is lined with white fur. Epic also has a matching Santa hat, black leggings, and white, shin-high boots. Her green highlights are replaced with red ones.

"How do I look?" Epic asks.

"If you were five years older, I would ask you to date me." Steve says. Epic laughs at this and throws a pillow at Steve's face.

"I am NOT wearing this too!" Steve says as he looks down at the pillow in his hands.

"I know! I just wanted to throw a pillow at you." Epic laughs. Steve playfully growls and hits the girl with the pillow. The next half hour consisted of an epic pillow fight but the pillows froze in midair when the buzz of the doorbell sounded throughout the building. Steve grabbed the pillows and arranged them on the couch while Epic opened the door to greet the guests.

"Hey biggums!" a big furry bacca greets.

"Dood, calm down." Says a young man dressed in a red, plaid jacket.

"Sorry, I thought Steve would open the door. I didn't know the greeter would be a beautiful girl." Jerome apologizes as he kisses Epic's hand. This causes her to blush even though her crush is Mitch.

"Hey guys!" A new voice calls out. Epic looks behind the two men to see Sky, Deadlox, Husky, and TruMU walking up the path.

10 minutes later

Steve has introduced Epic to all the members of Team Crafted. After the quick meet-and-greet, everyone decided to go to the Parcour Room and have a competition where if you fall off, you can't come back up.

About 20 minutes after they started the parcour, only Sky, Mitch, and Epic are left on the platforms.

"Mitch! We can talk about this!" Sky yells at his friend as he backs up to the edge of a platform and away from the PVP Warrior.

"Sure Sky, we can talk about this…tomorrow." Mitch says as he is about to shove Sky off the edge.

"WAIT! There is a vile creature behind you!" Sky says.

"Sky, that isn't going to-"Mitch answers. He catches movement in the corner of his eye and turns his head to see a cooked fish hanging on a thread next to him.

"AHHH! VILE CREATURE!" Mitch screams and falls off the platform. Sky ends up laughing so hard that he falls off also. Epic declares her victory by jumping up and down and shouting. She eventually slips on the fish that fell to the ground and plummets off the block she was standing on…and into Mitch's arms.

"Um… hi?" Epic greets nervously.

TO BE CONTINUED!

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**~Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder, Vocaloids, Kagamine Rin and Len~**

**I hope you liked it! Chapter two should be out tomorrow if I have any free time. Please follow, favorite, and review! Bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this then bless you! EPIC OUT!**


	7. Christmas Party part 2

**Hey nuggets! Merry late Christmas! I hope everyone got what they wanted! I GOT A FRICKEN TABLET! Here are the answers to your reviews!**

**Derp: Your device isn't stuffed up. If someone who isn't a member of fanfiction, their reviews don't come out for a while. There is a way for me find and upload your reviews though, so don't worry. *hands budder nuggets***

**Derp: That will be in a new years chapter.**

**Derp: That would be more of a Halloween chapter but I won't be doing this story for that long.**

**FeatherleapMC: Why yes, yes I did. (It may or may not have been on purpose) *hands budder nuggets***

**Derp: I realized that yesterday and I will change the story name tomorrow night.**

**dragonflyz: I already answered you in via PM. *hands budder nuggets***

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"Um, hi?" Epic says nervously. Mitch stares at her as he smiles deviously.

"Hey Jerome, catch!" Mitch says as he throws Epic to the baca. Epic squeals and turns so she lands on Jerome's head. She then flips off into the water and begins to swim away. Everyone laughs and Sky jumps on a block to announce the next 'game'.

"It's Christmas and what better way to celebrate Christmas than to get the crap scared out of us!" Sky announces as everyone starts to follow him to the horror room.

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In 'The Stairs'

Everyone jumps off the main platform and onto the pressure plates below.

"Ok! Let's go!" Jerome says as he starts to march down the stairs. Then a scary noise plays and Jerome squeals like a little girl and jumps into Mitch's arms. "SAVE ME BENJA!"

"Dood, it's only a noise. Nothing to be afraid of." Mitch says as he drops his furry friend.

"I-I wasn't scared. I was just… showing you how… to… properly look… scared? Yeah." Jerome says as he gets up. Everyone rolls their eyes at the baca and starts to walk down the steps.

"Um… Steve." Husky calls.

"Yeah."

"Isn't Herobrine like, your twin or something?" Husky asks.

"WHY IS EVERYONE SO STEROTYPICAL ABOUT THAT! WE ARE NOT TWINS!" Steve screams as he pulls out a sword. He then proceeds to stab himself and respawns back in the living room.

"Hey Husky." Epic says.

"Yeah."

"Aren't you a fish?" Epic asks.

"WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM AN AMPHIPAN!" Husky screams as he stabs himself as well, respawning in the bathroom.

"Alright! Let's go nuggets!" Epic says as she marches down the steps.

After the Stairs

"Woo! Let's do that again!" Epic says as she jumps in the air.

"Um, I think I wet myself." Jerome announces. Everyone turns to stare at Jerome and then his pants. Jerome blushes and runs to the bathroom only to see Husky with his head stuck in the toilet.

"WHAT THE! How the Nether did you get you head in the toilet.

"I WAS THIRSTY!" Husky screams/sobs.

"But that is toilet water…" Jerome points out.

"IT TASTES SO MUCH BETTER!" Husky sobs.

Jerome is attempting to pull Husky out of the toilet when Steve walks in.

"WHAT THE NETHER IS GOING ON HERE!" Steve screams.

"Wait, Steve, I can explain!" Jerome shouts.

"I'M ADDICTED TO TOILET WATER!" Husky sobs again.

* * *

Husky finally got his head out and Jerome changed his pants but he had to change into a skirt. Awkward!

"Ok, time to exchange presents!" Steve announces. Everyone except Sky sit down normally. Sky runs and jumps onto the couch while screaming 'presents' like a five year old kid.

"Sky, settle down." Steve says as he grabs a present and hands to the giggling budder god. Sky looks at the tag, Jerome. He rips open the paper and is hit in the face with a cream pie.

"Very clever Jerome." Sky says as he licks some of the pie off.

Jerome got a present from Husky. Husky got a present from Ssundee. Ssundee got a present from Steve. Steve got a present from TruMU. TruMU got a present from Sky. Mitch got a present from Epic and Epic got a present from Mitch.

About a half hour after the gift exchange, everyone started to leave.

"Hey Epic, can you come with me real quick?" Mitch asks the only girl, unless you count Jerome. (BURN) Epic nods her head and Mitch leads her to the porch.

"So what did you want?" Epic asks but is answered by Mitch crushing his lips onto hers. Her eyes pop open with the shock of getting kissed by the man she has an epic crush on. She relaxes and wraps her arms around his neck while he wraps his arms around her waist, melting into each other.

"Does that answer your question?" Mitch asks Epic when they finally release. Epic nods her head and lays her head onto Mitch's chest.

"Mitch and Epic, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Jerome chants out.

"You betcha baca!" Mitch says as he grabs Epic and runs up a tree, kissing her.

* * *

Mitch is the last to leave but before he does, he sets up a date with Epic.

"Ok, see you then!" Epic says after she types the date, time and place into her minepad. Mitch nods and runs in the direction of his house. Epic sighs and walks back into the building.

"Someone has a boyfriend!" Steve sings out. Epic nods and runs to her room, collapsing on the green and yellow bed.

"Best. Day. EVER! Merry Christmas!"

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**Hope you liked the new chapter! Please post in reviews what you think everyone gave each other. EPIC OUT!**


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